Exactly one week ago today, I had to say goodbye to my best friend, my soulmate cat, who I had been with for 16 years. I adopted her when she was 8 weeks old, and I was only 10, we grew up together and formed the most special bond. I was her person, and she was mine. One year ago, Misty was diagnosed with chronic kidney failure. The vet at the time had actually suggested euthanasia given how difficult of a kitty she was when brought to the vet, but my baby still had her spunk in her, and we had taken matters into our own hands and had a home vet come visit her and we started her on medications, supplements and special food. Misty lived one year and a month past what was given for her, and I'm so grateful we had that extra time, but as any pet parent knows, no amount of time is ever enough.
When my sweet kitty passed away, I was a wreck. I was/am drowning in my grief. She went to sleep in her favorite spot, on my lap, and I instantly was thrown into a panic attack. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't stop the sobs that wracked my body, or the screams that left me in the middle of the ER vet as I felt and saw the life leave my sweet Misty's body. Devastated, doesn't even begin to describe the pain I felt, and currently still feel.
Within a few hours of getting back home, the thought crossed my mind, "What am I supposed to do about my business?" When Misty passed, I had around 200 open orders combined between my Etsy shop and my main website. Luckily I had nothing that had to go out for the next two days, so I spent those initial days in bed, only getting up after 4pm to use the bathroom or get water, and retreat back to my bed to cry some more. I didn't want to answer messages from customers, I didn't want to work on custom orders, I didn't want to do anything. I didn't even have it in me to thank everyone that commented on my post about losing Misty until recently. I just wanted time to stop.
I quickly became anxious about this, realizing I didn't have a plan in place for when personal emergencies happened, and I unfortunately didn't find much info online.
The 3rd day after Misty passed away, I stayed in bed until 2pm, and forced myself to get up to work on a few orders...but let me tell you, I cried the entire time...it's a wonder my tears didn't get on anything with how hard I cried. I had no motivation to do anything I previously enjoyed. I still don't, but I'm finding that you need to force yourself (gently) back into your old routine, or even a new routine if that helps you. Right now, it's all about your comfort and what will help you the best.
I want to share with you a few tips I have from my own personal experience this week about how to manage your small business (specifically an Etsy shop or shopify store), when someone you love passes away.
If you're really struggling with the grief and you feel lonely and are having a hard time, I recommend getting in touch with a grief counselor or joining a grief support group. The days after I lost my sweet Misty, I talked to two different pet loss grief counselors over the phone that really helped me process the pain, guilt, and denial that I was feeling. Many times they have advice for you that you would never have thought of yourself, so I really recommend talking to someone if you feel you need it.
All in all, running your business (especially as a one person shop), is extremely hard. I'm still learning how to do it myself right now as I process my own grief. There will be many times that you don't want to do it, or that you may not even care because you're so distraught, but my biggest piece of advice is to go at your own pace. You just lost someone you loved, you're allowed to take a step back and to mourn. Give yourself that time and self love to process your emotions. Things may not feel normal or okay for a very long time, but I have hope that we can rebuild our shattered selves around the grief we are feeling, and carry our loved ones with us as we become different versions of yourselves. If you're reading this and you just lost someone, I sympathize with you and I am so sorry for your loss. I hope these tips help you, and if you need someone to grieve with, I'm only a message away.
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